Kanye’s ‘boring’ life

Mostly overlooked in Kanye West‘s recent interview with seminal hip hop station Hot 97, in amongst stories about Chuck-E-Cheese and an endorsement of baller Stephen Curry is the revelation, from ‘Ye himself, that he is ‘completely boring’.

According to him he’s really boring and just goes to the studio every day. Paraphrasing Drake, Yeezy said he was ‘running through the ‘burbs with no woes’. Apparently not the outrageous superstar we all know and cherish.

Wake up Mr. West.

You’re possibly the biggest artist on the planet. Your wife just rented you the Staples Centre to play a game of pick up basketball for your birthday. You regularly interrupt awards shows and call out the president on national television. Your biggest regret in life is never having the privilege of watching yourself live. Your idea of a Tweet is this:

You’re a man who once rapped ‘mayonnaise coloured Benz, I push Miracle Whips’. A man who styled himself as the ‘fly Malcolm X, buy any jeans necessary’. Who bragged about being in ‘pussy so deep I coulda drowned twice’. With a passing interest in Egyptology, who, when you’re not drowning in pussy, you’re putting it in a sarcophagus. Who allegedly received ‘so much head’ that you ‘woke up in Sleepy Hollow’.

You’re a man who sees himself as a superhero with theme music composed entirely of ‘screams from the haters’. Kanye, you are a man who is apparently on first name terms with our Lord and Saviour. Someone who is so money-ful that he could buy his way to heaven but would prefer to spend that amount on a single piece of neck jewellery.

Don’t give me this crap about boring, Kanye. Don’t even.