MGK gets destroyed on Monday Night Raw, one of my dreams coming true in the process

Monday Night Raw is the flagship program of all of professional wrestling. Every so often they’ll have musical guest stars, many of them terrible, who also get involved in the show. Last night’s episode featured Machine Gun Kelly (MGK for short), a rapper who makes Macklemore look like Marshall Mathers, giving a performance to a crowd who did nothing to deserve it.

Being a closeted fan of all things professional wrestling and a staunch opponent of godawful hip hop, what happened next was so very deeply satisfying for me.

My God, that was joyous even if it was fake. Kevin Owens, a professional wrestler who is an amalgam of beard and anger and weighing in at 261 pounds of pure terror, picking that miserably untalented asshole up and powerbombing him and his topknot directly off the stage and through some kind of conveniently placed box.

I’m still basking in the sheer glory of it. I almost need a cigarette.