Audiopill is either the way of the future regarding drug consumption, or a ten-hour rave party in the depths of hell which you’ve foolishly volunteered yourself.
The Audiopill is a small device, which after being ingested, starts a journey through your insides while simultaneously beating to the rhythm of one of three pre-set BPMs (beats per minute) for the duration of the battery life, which lasts somewhere around ten hours. According to the Indiegogo page, its creator, artist and tech journalist Jan Strmiska (whose Indiegogo page has him going by Jan Poope because he is also apparently a part-time comedian), you are not all guaranteed a good time.
Audiopill (pill) will make you feel like you are standing in the middle of a concert hall with a powerful audiosystem inside your body. Or like you are standing in a factory workshop full metal working machines and ramming an impact drill into your stomach. The only diference is there’s an absolute silence all around and you are experiencing the music in perfect privacy and only from the inside.
Jesus fucking-Christ, Jan. A god damn metal workshop? I’ve been to my fair share of metal workshops and someone telling me that I have to be in one for around ten hours, and those ten hours of agony are taking place entirely within my own body, with no chance of me escaping or making it stop, short of me going all amateur surgeon and cutting it out of my own stomach/intestine, sounds more like something the god damn Jigsaw killer would put me through, rather than my definition of a swell time.
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It doesn’t help that Audiopill’s page is littered with a number of gems which seriously make you wonder if the author has ever actually tested this instrument of horrors, or if he is just sort of guessing that it probably isn’t that great for you,” after it descents to the pelvic area, the effects become very intensive.” Writes Poope, “you may for a while regret your experimental courage.”
I’ll be the first to admit that this pill does in theory sound rad as fuck. A music pill that can potentially mimic the effects of ecstasy while simultaneously making me feel like I’m at a rave which lasts ten hours? That sounds amazing, the fact that I can poop it out and immediately take it again is just an added bonus. Unfortunately, much like my wish for a cat that would be able to do my housework while also being gifted with speech is just a pipe dream, so is this ridiculous performance art piece.
I’m not a doctor, but my fairly non-specific understanding of the human body and its somewhat fragile inner structure would make me fairly hesitant to swallow a device which beats at 130 BPM to the tune of I Fink U Freeky by Die Antwoord. Apart from what I can only imagine as absolutely excruciating stomach pain you may also face the risk of the Audiopill beat interfering with your own heartbeat. I’m not even going to touch on the potential mental implications of it, as the author puts it, “you are at a 10-hour party of one and only hypnotic rhythm, and there’s nowhere to escape.”
No need to take my word for it however, the creator of the pill doesn’t hold back any secrets regarding the ingestion of his device and also quickly points out that he is definitely not taking any responsibility for what you do with his invention.
During development of the device, many doctors and four polymer experts who were consulted on encasement materials, warned the author “to never ever swallow anything like this”. Therefore, everything is at the user’s own risk. The author waives all responsibility for any potential health problems. It is also strongly recommended that you inspect your faeces to be sure the device has made it through and out safely
It may come as somewhat of a shock, but the Audiopill Indiegogo page has now been closed, only managing to raise a mere €148 of it’s desired goal of €150,000. Perhaps for their next trick they should add a wireless remote which you can use to turn the Audiopill off, in case you start dying.
Image: dazeddigital