The Spice Girls sent us into a whirlwind of excitement last month, when news broke that the legendary five-piece were planning something special to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their first ever single Wannabe, and in general, their career. Rumours of a reunion tour began to circulate immediately, and while it looks like a tour may actually be going ahead, not all members are exactly keen to step back into their platform boots and glittery outfits.
Posh Spice, aka Victoria Beckham, has apparently (and let’s be frank, unsurprisingly) turned her nose up at the thought of a reunion with Baby, Ginger, Sporty and Scary, or Emma Bunton, Geri Horner, Melanie C and Mel B. As Stereogum rightly points out, this isn’t exactly unexpected: as the biggest wet blanket of all time, she was constantly the butt of jokes in both Spice Girls films, for essentially refusing to have any fun, ever.
“Sometimes you’ve got to know when it’s time to leave the party,” she told Vanity Fair last year. Recently, Horner/Ginger gave an interview with the BBC, in which she echeod the sentiment, confirming that Beckham won’t be taking part.
While it won’t be the same without all five members, most fans will likely still queue up to see the beloved group (and besides, we all know she’s the most annoying one anyway.)
Before Bieber, before One Direction, before Five Seconds of Bloody Summer, we had The Spice Girls. Undoubtedly one of the best pop groups in music history, studies* have revealed that 99% of Australian females in their mid-late twenties grew up on The Spice Girls, and still know all of the words to at least 5-10 of their mammoth hits.
2016 marks the 20th anniversary of their formation and the release of their very first hit single Wannabe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQ
The Spice Girls have had their fair of reunion rumours, with small tours and one-off performances (albeit often with at least one of the original five members missing) taking place sporadically across the past decade. The last reunion tour was in 2007, and the group’s last live performance was in 2012 at the Summer Olympics closing ceremony.
Speaking this week with talk show host Alan Carr, Mel B aka Scary Spice let off a couple clues about the group’s 20th anniversary celebrations in 2016. “I think I’m the one putting all the rumours out there. To be serious, it is our 20th anniversary this year, and it would be rude not to celebrate.”
“Hopefully something will be happening pretty soon,” she said, cryptically. “I can’t tell you what is it yet.”
The news follows an interview with Billboard last month, in which Mel B again stated that “we’re really just trying to make sure something happens [next year],” to celebrate two decades of Girl Power.
Of course, it’s not all bright news. Reports of issues between group members and management have long been a part of the Spice Girls story. The Mirror reports that Mel C aka Sporty Spice will only sign on for future tours if “all the cogs are in place” (which makes sense), while the other members – Baby, Ginger and Posh – are “bickering” over management rights. Whatever the case may be, let’s hope they work something out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ro0FW9Qt-4
*Study has been conducted using the Howl & Echoes writing team as its data set
As I am sure you are all well aware, the world was rocked with some pretty tragic news last week. The beautiful, talented man that is Zayn Malik, has officially left One Direction. A moment of silence for the girls who have dedicated their lives to loving this five-some.
In any case, I feel that One Direction may become a little lost without their token racially ambiguous hot guy, and so I thought I would share a few ’90s pop artists who have previously dealt with band break-ups and members leaving, in a manner that’ll hopefully shed a little light on how to deal with this terrible loss.
What follows are the four band breakups that ripped my heart apart. These are their stories, DUN DUN.
BAD
So, we’ll start with a band that broke up – not only is this how NOT to deal with a band member leaving, but it may well foreshadow 1D’s future. Just like every other twenty-something girl out there, the first band breakup that comes to mind is of course, the Spice Girls. After a rumoured fight with Mel B in 1998 Geri announced her departure from the band. To summarise what happened, Ginger left to start an (unsuccessful) solo career, the girls released one more (average) album, Scary got knocked up, Posh became a footballers wife, Sporty began a slightly more successful solo career, and we’re not sure what happened to Baby.
WORSE
The next band breakup, and probably the worst case scenario for the boys of 1D, is Destiny’s Child. If Zayn turns out to be the Beyonce of this band, then the four remaining boys are up shit creek without a paddle. For all we know Harry, Liam, Louis and Niall could soon be lumped with the Kelly’s and Michelle’s of the world. Who are Kelly and Michelle you ask? Exactly.
Luckily, we all know Harry is the frontman of One Direction, so this is really just a good excuse to reminisce over DC.
WORST
Next up we have the Backstreet Boys. Kevin Richardson actually left the band and then returned and apparently (according to Wikipedia) they are still together and making music??? Also there is currently a Backstreet Boys documentary in cinemas for anyone that wants to know “what to do when you’re a middle aged man in a boy band”. FYI that is an actual quote from the documentary, which I have not yet seen but very much look forward to.
KANYE
Finally we have the band you’ve all been waiting for (probably, I don’t know), The Beatles. John Lennon left and then he got murdered. Zayn, I hope you don’t get murdered. Ringo and George went on to be mildly successful and Paul McCartney has just, at age 72, joined Kanye’s squad, so I guess you could say things are going pretty well for him.
I have come to the end of my band breakup analysis and realised that in spite of these heartbreaking stories, there’s not much advice we can leave for One Direction. Zayn, you might become the next Queen B but you also might get shot, who knows? Harry, Liam, Louis and Niall you might only be remembered as ‘Zayn’s old band’ or you might marry soccer stars, become THE face of fashun and never smile again. Best case scenario you wait another 50 years and join Kanye’s squad. Honestly I don’t know, I thought that writing this article would help me figure it out but it didn’t so I am just going to stop. Boys, you’re probably screwed. Kanye, I love you.