It’s always been my dream to be in a band and play even just one show. Lacking any sort of technical prowess with an instrument or much of a musical ear or a voice that doesn’t sound like someone is punching a goat was seemingly always going to leave that particular dream, like a lot of others I’d had over the years (I never did get to be a professional wrestler), within the realm of delusional fantasy.
Hearing the Ramones changed my mind about that.
Most people when quizzed on their favourite Ramones album (and if you don’t have one, are you really giving 110% in life?), will point to their seminal self-titled debut or the more critically lauded Rocket To Russia, but for me it has always been their sophomore LP Leave Home, released in 1977.
The perfect extension from the foundation the Ramones had shot punk rock to the pinnacle of public visibility to on Ramones. It didn’t break ground but it didn’t need to. Nothing was broken and they didn’t fix a fucking thing, a principle the band would adhere with rigidity to for much of their career together.
There’s so much good on Leave Home and it’s such an easy and fun listen. No song of the 14 recorded clocks over three minutes, the longest being the Freaks-referencing Pinhead (the song that coined the famous “Gabba gabba hey!”) that runs for an eternal 2:42 (by Ramones time anyway). Full of no frills, militaristic chugging chords from Johnny Ramone with the fuzz cranked all the way up, a mercilessly pounding rhythm section in Dee Dee and Tommy Ramone, Joey Ramone’s unmistakeable sneering drawl.
The perfect blend of nihilistic punk in tracks like Gimmie Gimmie Shock Treatment and the cleaning solvent sniffing belter Carbona Not Glue, the sarcastic call-and-response middle finger to the armed forces in Commando and the ode to the girl who digs her music good and deafening in Suzy Is A Headbanger.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wd777-Iopo
There’s romantic 50s and 60s throwbacks, shades of the Beach Boys and The Contours and the sound Joey Ramone longed for, with those idiosyncratic doo wop ‘whoa-oh’ choruses (although coated in a heavy layer of grit and grime) in I Remember You and Oh Oh I Love Her So. And of course, my absolute favourite track on the entire record (and it’s not even a Ramones song) in California Sun.
Originally performed by little known NOLA crooner Joe Jones and then made into a semi-hit by The Rivieras in 1964, it was the Ramones version from this album that first hit my ears, in typical teenage fashion watching Steve-O polevault himself into a palm tree on the first Jackass movie.
It was so entrancing; the summery chord progression and good-time lyrics that filled my 15-year-old head with images of Venice Beach and bikini babes and rolling down a highway in an MG convertible. I wanted to be “out there having fun in the warm California sun” more than anything in my life, a dream I wouldn’t fulfil for another seven years. It was also my introduction to one of my favourite musical subgenres ever in surf punk, even if I didn’t realise it at the time.
Most of all it sounded so simple, and I wanted to learn to play it the moment I heard it. I wanted to play everything on that album, three honest chords on a feedback-drenched electric guitar? Piece of piss.
Unfortunately, my aforementioned lack of instrumental talent reared its spotty head. At that point I had picked up a guitar and could play Smoke On The Water and Iron Man and Highway To Hell on one string like a chump, but things like chords and tabs were virtually Ancient Sanskrit to me and I spent many frustrated hours trying to teach my fingers to work a fretboard properly and using the word ‘motherfucker’ more than liberally.
It seemed so easy the way the Ramones played it that I thought anybody could learn it in about five seconds. Unfortunately that messy simplicity that emanated from the speakers listening to this album was a slight deception. It wasn’t that the Ramones were untalented at all, they certainly didn’t just pick up their instruments and start playing obviously, theyknew exactly what they were doing and exactly what worked and the way they put it together was almost suffocatingly precise after multiple listens. When I found I couldn’t play a goddamn thing of theirs I gave up playing guitar then and there and chucked my Takamine into a forgotten and dusty corner of my bedroom, because trying is the first step towards failure as somebody once put it.
It wasn’t until I moved in to my current house years later, where two of my housemates who are outrageously talented musicians actually sat me down and were patient enough to teach me the basics and how to employ them on a guitar, that I actually started to have fun with it and California Sun was one of the first songs I learned.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjCa8i5JDF4
We put together the scrappiest, dodgiest punk band imaginable, headlined a house party/festival and California Sun was one of the songs we played. There may have been 35 people and a dog in attendance, we may have sounded like an absolute shit fight and I ended up passed out in a bin afterwards but it was still one of the few instances in my life where a dream was fulfilled and Treadlyfest 2013 remains one of the best nights of my entire life so far.
I listened to Leave Home with renewed reverence after that. I have it on vinyl and the CD copy I own is near unplayable after so many spins in my car. Leave Home is one of the records that so perfectly encapsulated that period in my life, one of the happiest I’ve ever known, and every time I listen to it I’m taken back there. To beer pong nights and jam sessions and house parties that ended in noise complaints, my entire life in that household at that time was like any Ramones song: simple, gritty and fun as all fuck.
I like to imagine those early records, and especially Leave Home, as the happiest part of the Ramones’ lives too. Four grubby punks from Queens who weren’t especially technically proficient who got together and threw down some of the most iconic and influential music of all time and help propel a genre into the mainstream. In an era where wanky prog-rock had been all the rage, they set fire to the conventions of being a musician and a band and gave so many people like me, who probably thought they’d never be able to write and play music, a shred of hope.
Everything may have fallen apart in later years (and if you want to cry I suggest checking out End Of The Century, which remains one of the best music documentaries of all time), but Leave Home is the Ramones at the top of their game and having fun, a sonic representation of my early 20s when everything was so easy.
Image: Wikipedia
Punk is often portrayed as an aggressive movement started by a small group of people who were disenfranchised with the world in which they grew up in. They were unimpressed and unmoved by the music, fashion and ideals of the day. So they forged ahead with their own culture that reflected and voiced these issues, and subsequently prospered in a climate that rewarded creativity and productivity above all else.
In reality, it is not that simple. Marketing strategies and major record companies undeniably helped push the scene forward, as it grew into a worldwide commodity from the mid 1970s onwards. It was capitalised on, having come from a place in many circumstances that was ill-fitting of the backstory that was generated around the punk scene at the time. As critic Patrick West stated, “Government and corporations have always controlled art, and it’s naïve to think that this was a new phenomenon. One of the best things that punk did was to draw our attention to this historical norm so starkly.”
All of this is not to dismiss punk rock’s importance in the history of music though. It may have been short-lived and manufactured at times, but it remains a fluid genre to this day, a key influencer on the music that was created for decades to come – music that brought about the rise of the independent music maker and the independent youth. It broke the status quo within the music industry that had dictated the taste of the youth for too long, and opened up a new set of rules that generations in the future would come to live by…
“Bill Grundy was yesterday suspended by Thames Television for two weeks after being accused of ‘sloppy journalism’. Mr Grundy later responded, ‘all I was trying to do was prove that these louts were a foul-mouthed set of yobs.”
This extract from the Guardian in 1976 refers to the now infamous appearance of the Sex Pistols on the Today Show, which was hosted by Grundy himself. It was a first taste for many of the upcoming onslaught that ‘punk’ would bring to England, and indeed worldwide. In it, the host exchanged barbs with guitarist Steve Jones where he dared him to say something “outrageous.” Jones replied by ranting at Grundy and showering him with expletives. Before the incident, punk existed on the margins, safely kept underground and away from the masses. It was still a year before the Pistols’ released their debut, but they were now firmly in the public consciousness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtHPhVhJ7Rs
If any band has become a poster for the punks, it is the Sex Pistols. They arrived with an image of bad behaviour, intolerance for the government, a leering hatred for the so called establishment, and a severe case of injustice. A great example of this is from their TV appearance where they utilised the reputation they had in the underground and strengthened their image as non-conformists live on the BBC for the whole nation to see.
To understand why this appearance had such a profound impact on the public though, is to first recognise the merits of the “shock effect.” Neil Eriksen in his case study entitled “Popular Culture and Revolutionary Theory: Understanding Punk Rock” wrote,
“A song serves to generate leisure effects by creating an avenue for escape into apathy and fantasy. But a song can also have another effect; it can serve to orient the listener to a ‘critical response … in the sense that he or she will be provoked into thinking and questioning by it.’ One way that such critical orientation can be affected is through the shock effect of jolting the audience out of the more passive habitual response.”
This is primarily what punk rock sought to do both through its actual music and its image. The Sex Pistols (also see GG Allin for a more explicit case) played on it constantly to antagonise their audiences, all the while building up a cult following. The band, however, were not exactly as they seemed. As has now been very well documented, they were an extension of manager Malcolm McLaren’s vision, whose day job was selling “fetishistic clothing daubed with slogans” from his London store SEX, along with legendary designer Vivienne Westwood. In a way, the band were a vehicle for this as they captured the imagination of the disaffected youth, ready for something new and wild. Sid Vicious, the bassist who couldn’t actually play bass, was the most obvious component of it all. He was purely in the band due to his aesthetic and attitude, helping to propel and sell the image of the ‘punk’ to everyone else.
Barely two years later, the band came to a screeching halt after just one album. Frontman Johnny Rotten famously addressed the crowd during their final gig in San Francisco. “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?” he asked wearily. It was perhaps a pondering of his own fate as well as that of his audience’s.
Punk rock is generally considered to have arrived sometime around the mid 1970s. Earlier bands like MC5 and Iggy and the Stooges had elements of punk in them, but it wasn’t until the likes of the Ramones and Sex Pistols emerged that the scene really began to take off. As observed by an article from CNN, “while ’70s rock gods like Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd filled their songs with ever expanding guitar solos, The Ramones packed 14 songs in under 30 minutes.” And it was this immediacy that proved to be so enticing for some as short and sharp blasts of music became preferred.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K56soYl0U1w
There are varying beliefs on what punk rock and its surrounding scene actually was and what it brought to the people who listened to it. According to Stuart Home in his piece “Cranked Up Really High“, “What punk did do was tap into a reservoir of social discontent and create an explosion of anger and energy. Punk wasn’t offering a solution… It was pure sensation, it had nothing to offer beyond a sense of escape from the taboo of speaking about the slimy reality of life as the social fabric came apart.” Meanwhile, Tim Patterson was quick to dismiss it in his 1977 article entitled “Punk Rock Reflects Cultural Decay” where he described it as a “social disease… It is a part of the manipulation business and… the crudest cultural hoax in decades.” Regardless of its term though it unquestionably ignited a certain part of youth culture and drove them to find their own voices within society.
Time Magazine touched on this when it stated that, “Punk began with a feeling of frustration and rage and turned it into an idea that could be acted upon. Employing deconstruction and self-starter empowerment — the DIY ethic — it liberated a generation to create its own culture.”
The arrival of punk both in the UK and in America took the music industry by surprise as it quickly imposed its will. The number of small record labels that started up during the early stages of punk’s rise was impressive, but was in part due to major record companies not being able to adapt in the face of change. Punk capitalised on this and took advantage of large record companies being blind sighted as they shovelled their money into new recording technologies, while believing they still controlled the popular and youth cultures. Kevin Dunn points out that this “meant that older studio equipment and studios suddenly became available for independent music producers and companies to either buy or rent at affordable costs.”
The Buzzcocks became the makers of the first British homemade record directly as a result of this. Their Spiral Scratch EP was made after the band borrowed $1,000 from their families to record and release it. As a result of this newfound opportunity, many small labels began to distribute their own albums through independent retailers. An expanding business was quickly established as fans came to rely on these lesser known labels to get them onto the up and coming punk bands from around their area. Punk music essentially creating a separate branch of recording, pressing and distributing away from the major music companies. It wasn’t only in the UK that this was occurring though, as around the world people involved in punk music saw the opportunities that were suddenly available in the music industry. “Often grounded by local DIY record labels that had been inspired by the initial outpouring of U.K. punk labels- the Los Angeles punk scene from 1977–79 embraced the DIY ethos too.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPG6Ak5FASk
In order to initially attract customers to their products, small labels devised marketing strategies that allowed them to operate with a profit. Fan newsletters were drafted up that people could subscribe to in advance and they were then sent a number of limited edition records that were marked as ‘exclusives’. “The do-it-yourself aspect of the production and packaging spoke for itself. We created ideas for affordable products which set the pace for imitators, like the clear plastic-bag 45 sleeves and the multi-colour silkscreened picture disc,” small label owner David Brown recalled.
However, what started out as a small community soon grew into an untapped commodity. The small labels were thriving in the punk rock scene and major labels finally cottoned on to its marketability and earning potential. A new market was available to them that was almost entirely related to the youth of the decade. Major labels began to sign up every punk band they thought they could make money from. The Sex Pistols were the first signed in the UK, contracting with EMI in 1976.
As Dunn noted, “by 1978, most of the best known U.K. punk bands had been signed by major record labels. Generation X and Stiff Little Fingers went to Chrysalis, the Vibrators signed with CBS, Siouxsie and the Banshees and Sham 69 signed to Polydor, the Undertones and the Rezillos went to WEA. While the flag-bearer of the DIY record label movement, the Buzzcocks, signed to United Artists.”
Major labels then took the initial marketing tools devised by small labels to attract buyers and multiplied it by 1,000. Gimmicks suddenly became the new norm on how to release and sell punk rock records. “Limited editions, coloured vinyl, picture bags, 6 inch singles, 12 inch singles, 10 inch albums, 45 rpm ‘albums’, scratch ‘n’ sniff sleeves etc. etc. was the sign of punk rock,” according to Home. “It proved of supreme importance to the corporate entertainment industry as an exercise in marketing research and development.” And in many ways this compromised the integrity of not only the band but also the music which they were making. What had started out as a small-time thing became just another cog in the music industry machine.
“They said we’d be artistically free, when we signed that bit of paper. They meant, let’s make a lot of money, and worry about it later.”–The Clash Complete Control lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeTw_p_WglY
The punk rock movement displaced heavy rock that had begun to sink into indulgence by the midway point of the decade. It was an adrenaline shot that aimed to destroy everything in sight. A dirty and aggressive reaction by a group of youths who were sick of all that had become before them. The bands played on the societal pressures and problems of the time after they had initially captured the public’s imagination. In the case of most English bands, it was a working class response to oppression and unemployment.
But from the start it had conflictions within its main framework. In most cases, by the end of the decade major labels controlled bands and had them signed to lucrative contracts, which took them out of the situations that they seemed to draw on at their inceptions. Some bands were simply a product of ulterior motives, while others jumped on the popularity of the scene just in order to make money. Until,in the end, it seemed to be a manufactured movement that was controlled with a vice-like grip by major companies just like all that had gone before them.
Despite this though, punk rock is still responsible for a number of high points in music history. It spawned historic places like CBGB’s in New York where the punk scene first exploded with bands like Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers and the Ramones making it their home. While it also influenced the next wave of musicians in the post punk genre that spawned bands like Joy Division and The Cure. Most importantly though, punk rock made it seem like just about anybody was capable of being in a band. It brought in the first batch of independent music makers and distributors that broke the monopoly of major labels. With the effects of which are still being felt three decades later.
Image: CBC/AP
Today marks 25 rollercoaster years of everybody’s favourite yellow nuclear family, The Simpsons. We’ve had the terrifying lows of the present day, the dizzying highs of the 90s, the creamy middles of the early 00s but since first gracing the televisions of the world in 1990, the year of my birth, The Simpsons have been perhaps the one pop cultural constant throughout my entire life. Along the way they’ve had a litany of musical cameos, and to celebrate 25 years, we’re taking a look at the best of them. The one rule: The cameo must be the artist or band performing as themselves, so apologies to Space Coyote (Johnny Cash) and Leon Kompowsky (Michael Jackson). Here we go:
10: Spinal Tap – The Otto Show
The blending of the best parody band of all time along with the most gleefully cutting satire of the 90s was an explosion of hilarity and put me in hysterics. I still quote this shit today: The band wondering who had benefitted more from the fall of Communism than themselves. The lighting crew missing the cue to turn up the house lights so they could let the audience know they’re the sixth member of the freaking group. “My vision!”. Their tour bus crashing in a ball of flames after a lengthy discussion on the quality of last night’s show (‘Yes, quite good’). And of course, one of my favourite lines of all time:
9: Tom Jones – Marge Gets A Job
Usually I’d wrinkle my nose up at anything involving Tom Jones, that ancient crooner all the septuagenarians lose their underpants over; however, his cameo on The Simpsons as one of Mr. Burns’ lavish attempts at seducing Marge was simply amazing. From Smithers showing him what’s inside this briefcase
To being held at gunpoint (and knocked out cold by a secret door) and forced to smile (“everybody’s happy…”) to his show-closing performance of It’s Not Unusual chained to the stage, Tom damn near stole the show here.
8: James Taylor – Deep Space Homer
This one is so underrated. ‘Unkempt youngster’ James Taylor (wow, former president, James Taylor) and his ‘unique brand of bittersweet folk rock’ provided the perfect soundtrack to Homer’s ill-fated voyage into outer space. He ran through You Got A Friend, telling Buzz Aldrin to ‘float there and like it’ and then Fire And Rain, changing ‘sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground’ to ‘flying safely through the air. Beautiful. Watch it here.
7: U2 – Trash Of The Titans
I’ve made no secret of my sheer hatred for Bono and U2 but their cameo was actually hilarious, if only because of the adjuvant antics of Homer, who manages to sneak backstage to their show under the guise of the ‘potato man’ (‘Where the bloody hell have you been?’). Bono assuring the crowd that the stage-crashing Homer will ‘get the help he needs’ (while his security team beats him up on the JumboTron) was side-splitting. Even their brief appearance in Homer’s Candy Man-inspired rendition of The Garbage Man wasn’t awful. Well played, Bono.
6: N’Sync – New Kids On The Blecch
One from a later Simpsons episode, the majority of which I am not fond of, New Kids On The Blecch was surprisingly outstanding. A brilliant send-up of the boy band craze that was sweeping the early 21st century, N’Sync were great sports in poking fun at themselves and their discourse. Joey’s insistence on ending sentences with ‘old school’ and JC being dragged off to the Navy at the behest of Lance Bass were the highlights.
‘Yvan Eht Nioj!’
5: The White Stripes – Jazzy And The Pussycats
Another 21st century Simpsons moment that didn’t suck, Jack and Meg come face to face with Bart in a Simpsonified version of the music video for The Hardest Button To Button that is nothing short of wonderful. So is Meg and Jack trying to kick Bart’s ass following him crashing into them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzkRy5kW6Qg
4: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Krusty Gets Kancelled
Krusty Gets Kancelled was littered with guest stars like Bette Midler, Elizabeth Taylor and Hugh Hefner, but the Chilis were the highlight. Their best moment?
Changing Give It Away from ‘what I got you gotta get and put it in you’ to ‘what I’d like is I’d like to hug and kiss you’ seconds after declaring their lyrics ‘like our children, man’,

“Dancing in their underwear… how degrading”
Then turning up at Moe’s still in their underwear for the after party.
‘We want Chili Willy!’
3: The Hullabalooza Lineup – Homerpalooza
No episode captured the 90s slacker cultural landscape that The Simpsons was built upon quite like Homerpalooza. Iconic moments everywhere. From long-suffering oldie Peter Frampton and his talking guitar (and Otto’s talking shoes), Sonic Youth stealing from his cooler, Cypress Hill stealing his London Symphony Orchestra (‘yo did we order an orchestra?’) for an extra classy version of Insane In The Brain
Also, Homer’s introduction to
and appreciation of the Smashing Pumpkins and their ‘gloomy music’ stopping his children from ‘dreaming of a future I can’t possibly provide’. The whole thing was perfect satire of alternative music culture and Lollapalooza, all delivered with that impeccable timing that made The Simpsons in the 90s such a force.
Remember, ‘if it’s brown, drink it down. If it’s black, send it back’.

Also, this.
2: The Beatles – Various
We had Ringo Starr as Marge’s teenage crush finally responding to her fan mail/art after 20 years:
We had the late George, positively chuffed to meet ‘nice fellow’ Homer at the Grammy’s after party:
And we had Linda and Paul McCartney, giving Lisa advice on being a vegetarian. Complete with Apu’s outrageous bongo cover of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
We were tragically a John Lennon away from the entire band in their yellow form, but these were perhaps the three biggest musical cameos The Simpsons ever had in terms of importance and sheer fame, that they were all an absolute stitch was even better.
1: Ramones – Rosebud
Oh man. Ohhhh man. This is the undisputed heavyweight champion of them all though. Fitting that the greatest musical cameo in Simpsons history came in an episode frequently regarded as one of the best. Everything about this was hysterically superb:
Johnny taking the time to tell the audience his feelings on this gig (it sucks), Joey’s unmistakeable snarling vocals over a gutter punk version of Happy Birthday (to ‘Burnsy’) and C.J. (I’d have preferred Dee Dee but it’s still amazing) saluting Mr. Burns in the most punk way imaginable (‘Go to hell you old bastard’) before the curtain is drawn and they noticeably mellow out of their onstage personas. The whole thing is utterly perfect. It captures everything that the Ramones were in under 30 seconds and does not EVER stop being funny.
And crotchety old Mr. Burns insisting that Smithers ‘have the Rolling Stones killed’ is the howl-inducing cherry on top of possibly one of the single greatest gags in the 25 year history of The Simpsons.
They just don’t make ’em like they used to.
Ever since one disgruntled fan shouted ‘Judas!’ at Bob Dylan for the folk singer having the gall to incorporate electric guitars into his music, the phrase ‘selling out’ has entered our day-to-day lexicon. Sometimes the gripe is legitimate, the change in sound or image of our beloved musicians so blatantly, cash-grabbingly obvious. Other times it’s less ‘selling out’ and simply a creative decision to head into a direction largely unfamiliar and rankling to their swathe of fans.
And sometimes, musicians simply say ‘fuck that’ and keep on keeping on, refusing to bend to the allure of gargantuan money or explosive fame. These are some of them:
5: The Ramones
God rest the Ramones. One of the most important and seminal bands of the last 60 years, they distilled music down to its rawest elements and created a sound equivalent to sheer power. Despite their militaristic pledge to make every song of theirs three minutes of three simple chords and shouted vocals, they never felt boring. Not for me anyway.
And they’re on this list because they never changed their sound to fit the scene or make a shit-ton of money. They made it through the 70s, 80s and early 90s riding those three chords all the way. They just kept playing on like a long-haired, leather jacketed version of the Titanic band, through disco, new wave, the MTV wave of pop, hair metal and grunge, with other artists changing sounds as often as underwear.
Doing the same thing over and over again is often called insanity, the Ramones called it punk.
4: Nick Cave
Few have shunned the bright lights and big stage the way Nick Cave so consistently has. And forget Sia and her ARIAs giveaway, Nick Cave recoils with horror from the mere idea of awards as though they’re made of cyanide or Creed albums.
Having received a nomination for Best Male Artist at the 1996 MTV EMAs following chart-rocketing duets with Kylie Minogue and PJ Harvey, this could have been the catalyst that sparked a lengthy and insanely profitable mainstream career for the Aussie crooner. His response to such a prestigious nomination may have been the politest form of insanity I’ve ever seen:
He cites appeasement of his muse as the reason, but I like to think it’s just because he had approximately zero time for the sickening pomp and bullshit of MTV, even as far back as 1996. Good on you, Nicko.
3: The Beastie Boys
For a Caucasian rap group who bordered on comedic act in the late 80s (before absolutely CRUSHING it in the 90s mind you), the Beastie Boys have surprisingly looked upon the act of selling out with nothing but disdain. Hell, Flavor Flav was in Public Enemy, one of the most ornery, politically-charged rap groups of all time, and even he thought that ‘Flavor Of Love’ money was too good to pass up.
Not the Beasties though, who have staunchly refused to allow any of their songs to be used in advertising, ever. They took on Monster Energy and even a company trying to push the concept of Lego blocks for girls for misappropriating their music. They also pissed off a great deal of their fans over the years by famously refusing to play their biggest hit, (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!), live, simply because they loathed how people had misinterpreted it as anything more than satire.
How much do they hate the idea of selling out? From beyond the grave, that’s how much. When MCA tragically passed away in 2012, he went as far as to include a ‘No Sell Out’ clause in his will.
Bad. Ass.
2: Neil Young
The amount of shits Neil Young gives about anything ranges between ‘minimal’ and ‘none, absolutely none’. He once walked out on Stephen Stills mid-tour and only left a telegram telling him to eat a peach, to give you some idea of his level of shit-giving.
He’s made an entire career out of just doing what he wants, regardless of how it will affect album sales or his public reputation. And when he’s responsible for classic albums like Harvest, Zuma and After The Gold Rush, you can’t fault him for that. Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers put it remarkably:
“He’s made whole albums that aren’t great, and instead of going back to a formula that he knows works, he would rather represent where he is at the time. That’s what’s so awesome: watching his career wax and wane according to the truth of his character at the moment”.
He also isn’t one for the Almighty Dollar of big business either. He donates proceeds from his concerts to go to environmental causes all the time and drives a Lincoln that runs on corn-based fuel. He’s the man.
Flea again:
“Maybe we could whore ourselves out for the right price someday. But I always think, “Would Neil Young do this?” And the answer is no. Neil Young wouldn’t fuckin’ do it”.
Amen to that.
1: ABBA
Hear me the fuck out on this one, alright? Despite the inherent coolness of everyone else on this list, despite ABBA being a crock of unequivocal cat shit and the undisputed soundtrack to everybody’s mother drunkenly swaying and trilling out of tune to at family gatherings, they are the Beatles of not selling out.
They turned down one billion dollars for a reunion tour.
One.
Billion.
FUCKING.
Dollars.

I’ll let NBA player Andre Iguodala demonstrate my feelings
Dr. Dre had to come up with a new line of luxury headphones, overprice the unholy dick out of them and make them successful enough to sell to Apple to earn within the same realm of money as some raving lunatic was willing to pay fucking ABBA just to put on their ridiculous costumes and warble their way through their litany of musical excretions onstage one last time. And they looked that person dead in the eye (or from any of the strange angles they employed in their music videos) and said ‘nah’ in a Swedish accent.
Unheard of. Unfathomable. It would be one thing were they a respected, beloved band like Zeppelin or somebody who didn’t want to ruin a lasting legacy, better bands have reunited for much, much less, but this is ABBA we’re talking about. They’re the butt of so many jokes, and they somehow still had too much pride to take that veritable Mount Everest of scrilla and run.
Well, say what you will about ABBA. They’re either shitrat insane or, behind the feathery hair and unsettling weirdness, are some of the biggest stones in music history. Turning that offer down makes them the heavyweight champions of this list, an incredibly sobering idea.




