Jaden Smith

When humanity leaves earth and future generations of Ape children are schooled inside a grounded Boeing 747 from a salvaged iPhone 3; it’s fair to assume that they will learn about human history from the wisdom of Jaden Smith tweets. Precocious young Apes will scratch their furry heads trying to decipher his unique philosophy; always expressed in 140 characters or less.

So to learn that Jaden Smith has now quit Twitter, and essentially deprived future Ape generations of its greatest existential philosopher – is nothing less than saddening. To commemorate the loss of this tremendous intellect, we count down his 10 most profound tweets.

10/10 2013 – You Would Have To Eat 5 Apples Today To Get The Same Nutritional Value As An Apple from 1950 #Fallow

Jaden dropping pure science as per. A study by Donald Davis et al (2004) published in American College of Nutrition examined the nutritional data from fruit from 1950 and 1999. Davis noted “reliance declines” in the amount of protein, calcium, phosphorus, iron, riboflavin and vitamin C.. Does Donald Davis have a Twitter account. If people don’t use their celebrity as a platform to bring forward the issue of declining fruit quality, who do you suppose will? Also, “fallow” means “plowed and left unseeded, uncultivated” – which I didn’t know, but Jaden Smith did.

09/13/2013 – If Everybody In The World Dropped Out Of School We Would Have A Much More Intelligent Society

Let me tell you a story about a small boy who grew up in rural Kentucky. From age 7 to age 21, that little boy toiled away, helping out on the family farm. He didn’t need a fancy college education. 3 years later in 1834 he was elected to the Illinois Legislature. And that little boy grew up to be ABRAHAM LINCOLN. Lincoln isn’t the only famous fool without formal education. Mark Zuckerburg, Brad Bitt, Ted Turner, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates all dropped out of college to devote their lives to far greater things than the meager pursuit of knowledge. Literally ten’s of people have gone on to do incredible things without the need for school.

05/10/14 – You Can Discover Everything You Need To Know About Everything By Looking At Your Hands

 Palmistry, or as the Greeks called it chiromancy is the art of fortelling the future through the study of the palm. A learned chiromancer studies the various “lines” and “mounts” of the human hand to make conclusions about; love, attraction, intellectualism, vitality and vigor. Further, through detailed analysis of the ‘simian crease,’ conclusions can be drawn regarding an individuals life path, career choices, success and obstacles. Whilst there is a general perception amongst academics that palmistry is a pseudoscience that lacks an empirical basis, as to this date, there has been no conclusive peer-reviewed report that comprehensively disproves it.

08/07/2013 – If A Book Store Runs Out Of A Certain Book, Dose That Mean That Nobody Reads It, Or Everybody Reads It

Here Jaden raises a philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and knowledge of reality. Can something exist without it being perceived? Do we assume that the unobserved world functions in the same way as the observed world? What is the difference between what something is, and how it appears? What kind of book are we talking about here? Because, if it’s like a Dan Brown novel, or a paperback or something, then it’s probably fair to assume that they’ve run out of it because it’s selling heaps. You kind of need to know what sort of book it is.

09/12/2013 – If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On The Planet Earth

I’ll only raise one slight criticism of this theory. Whilst I agree that if babies had the capacity to speak they would exhibit intelligence, the Look Who’s Talking Movies demonstrate conclusively that a baby’s intellect would be roughly equivalent to that of John Travolta or Kristie Alley.

05/01/2014 – When You Live Your Whole Life In Prison Freedom Can Be So Dull

 Accurate. In 2012 Rodney Dwayne Valentine spent two months in jail on a charge of damage to personal property. When Rodney was freed from jail on May 22^nd he refused to leave the premises. He was arrested for trespassing and subsequently incarcerated. This is just one of presumably thousands of tales of institutionalized people who loathe freedom.

09/09/2013 – All The Rules In The World Were Made By Someone No Smarter Than You So Make Your Own

Given that Benjamin Franklin framed the constitution and had an IQ of 160, and given that this is assumedly addressed exclusively to Microsoft founder Paul Allen (IQ of 160) theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking (IQ of 160) and chess grand master Gary Kasparaov (IQ of 170) then this comment completely holds water. Otherwise it’s nonsensical.

08/12/14 – When The First Animal Went Extinct That Should’ve Bin A Sign.

According to the Center for Biological Diversity 99% of currently threatened species are at risk from human activity. It’s thanks to our douchey forefathers that we’re now deprived of such hilarious animals as the dodo and the quagga. Even after selfishly gorging themselves on so much plump dodo – they never thought to warn us.

12/23/14 – The Head Of The Sphinx Will Fall Off In The Near Future.

In 1990 the Getty Conservation Institute installed a solar-powered monitoring station on the back of the Great Sphinx of Giza to monitor its deterioration. The date has shown that a strong sandy north-west wind is the major source of erosion. Studies have also shown issues regarding structural instability. More generally, the second law of thermodynamics shows a universal rule of decay, where everything disintegrates over time.

09/19/2013 – Trees are never sad look at them every once in a while they’re quite beautiful

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