In a classic case of “what the hell?”, Australia has officially joined the Eurovision song contest for 2015 which is kind of like America joining the Commonwealth Games, or me joining Cosmo’s Bachelor of the Year: all three mentioned lack the basic entry requirement (being even remotely close to Europe, being a part of the Commonwealth, being a Bachelor/having a penis). However, it’s happening, and we need to accept that.
Since being announced, a slew of petitions to get certain acts on board have arisen. From older folks trying to get a bit of nostalgia in the running, to another publication jumping on a certain bandwagon that has been going on a bit too long for my liking, many names have been put forward as an answer to the question on everybody’s lips – WHO should represent Australia in the competition that brings us acts such as these guys?
Or “bearded lady”, 2014 winner Conchita?
Who could possibly step up to the plate from our fair nation?
Aside from getting a hologram of young Nikki Webster‘s performance at the Olympics, we need to look at the forerunners and crowd favourites to see who’s up to the job. At a time where the quality of Australian music is incredibly high, and it’s not just Aussies noticing, we can go for either the obvious/nostalgic/joke choice, or tap into our resources and catapult a deserving act onto the World Stage. With artists putting in the hard yards on the national and even international festival and touring circuits, delivering stellar performances time and time again it could well be the time we bypass the John Farnham‘s and Olivia Newton John‘s and instead search for the perfect representative to go into battle for us.
Prompted by four petitions gathering some serious following, your pal (me) has compiled a comprehensive list for you to be the judge:
Let’s start with these guys. I really like The Presets, and I actually signed the petition to see them perform at the contest. Continually genre defining, as well as defying, The Presets are a staple in the Australian music scene. Each album has been as different as the next, although still focusing on their token “Presets” sound, and their live performances still somehow get better and better each year – despite being national favourites in a live setting already. The duo would most certainly bring something different to the standard Eurovision songs of contests past, and would maybe prompt the competition to get a little more versatile. They might not win as their music might be not be as accessible as the Eurovision crowds are used to, but they’d add diversity and make for a great show which would aid in getting them over the line.
This one is pretty obvious, albeit someone in Spain actually started the movement. Australia’s Princess of Pop could surely do a great job, permitting she sticks to her classics or even a medley for an all out pop extravaganza. The woman that brought us Locomotion, Spinning Around (those gold pants though…) and Can’t Get You Out Of My Head is a pretty good suggestion. Audiences abroad share in a longstanding love for her, so it could be a surefire way to nab some votes. Also, it should be noted Kylie has scored a spot on Germany’s Melt Festival alongside HudMo and Flume, as well as an Australian tour in March – could this be indicative of comeback? My mum will be so happy.
TISM or This Is Serious, Mum are a parody Melbourne rock band from the 90’s. Upon the announcement that Australia would be participating in this year’s contest, a petition started to get these guys not only there, but back together. It should also be noticed this petition had the strongest following, even more than aforementioned Kyls. The group behind anti-pop anthems such as (He’ll Never be an) Ol Man River and Greg! The Stop Sign!! are being practically begged by a good number of Australians to regroup and be selected (over 10,000 in fact). Whilst I disagree with the creator of the petition’s statement that, “It’s inarguable that since 2004, Australia has been going downhill,” but completely agree with him that Australia does indeed have a, “Proud, long and storied history of voting for incredibly stupid shit and somehow taking pride in it,” this one could go through just for the lols. It would be pretty hilarious.
Ugh, can we let this go already? 2014 was great for Canberra duo Peking Duk, smashing the airwaves with High and Take Me Over. I can get down to it, I like those songs; but seriously, let’s just move on. So what, they played Sandstorm more than a few times at their live shows? WHO DIDN’T PLAY THAT DAMN SONG LAST YEAR?! It’s about time we move on from these two, and see if if they are more than just a one-hit wonder who just missed out on the number spot in the Hottest 100. It really could go either way, but I don’t think Eurovision is the way to find out. Could they do a Flume and continue paving their own way in the dance world? Time will tell, but we probably need a bit more time to do the telling. Yeah, they won an ARIA, but since when have the ARIAs been an actual representation of the Australian music industry. Let’s just not with this one, okay guys?
My pick – Client Liaison
If it’s pop they want, who better to go over to where it all began than Client Liaison. It’s no secret we are big fans of these guys. Quickly becoming one of the biggest acts in the country, Monte Morgan and Harvey Miller are two of our nation’s finest performers today. Vivacious, infectious and borderline euphoria inducing, I cannot rave about these guys enough (I saw them 5 times last year…) There is no denying how great it would be to see these two really step up their game and be exposed to an audience of that level. In my opinion, they could definitely bring home the gold, and do us all proud. The only problem would be that their aesthetic and music would have to translate through to other audiences happy to make fun of themselves, but it would only be a matter of seconds before any questions of what Monte’s hair is doing or why there is an ice swan on stage disappeared, and were replaced with the incessant urge to boogie.
So there you have it, SBS and Australians everywhere – Client Liaison should take us to glory; they could be our ABBA. We will have to wait until March to see if the deciders heed my advice, and until May to see how it all goes down.