good kid, m.A.A.d salads

In news that has us thinking ‘I wish I’d thought of that’, Kendrick Lamar has made his biggest collaboration since killing it with Flying Lotus, teaming up with American salad chain Sweetgreen to create the ‘Beets Don’t Kale My Vibe’ salad. So lettuce get this straight: you can now get a salad inspired by the single of a very similar name off Kendrick’s good kid, m.A.A.d city record.

Apparently the chain has been selling merchandise with the phrase since 2013, and with Kendrick set to headline the Sweetgreen Sweetlife Festival at the end of the month, the lime was ripe to create the actual salad. Sweetgreen had this to say about the season’s ripest pairing:

We’ve been a big fan of this pun for a few years now, and we’re excited to turn it into a reality as part of our menu. The ‘beets don’t kale my vibe’ salad includes organic wild rice, shredded kale, roasted beets and red onions, local goat cheese, roasted chicken, honey-glazed pecans and our housemade balsamic vinaigrette. Since Kendrick is passionate about supporting local communities, we’ll donate 10% of the proceeds to FoodCorps, our sweetgreen in schools charity partner.”

To saladbrate the match, and puns in general, we’ve come up with the artists that we think should be following Kendrick’s precedent, and lend their names to food for the sake of the highest brow of humour there is!

1. Soup Dogg: Thankfully not for human consumption. If Snoop has the foresight he can create a niche-market for himself: Soup… for Dogs! How many times have you thought to yourself, ‘damn I already fed the dog, but I forgot to give him water’. Well no more! Save time with Soup Dogg, where your dog’s liquid and solid requirements are met in one easy meal! Also available in more exotic forms is Soup Lion, which comes with an unsold copy of Reincarnated.

Picture-35

Pretty much.

2. Next is a possible Boost Juice venture: Juice Springsteen: Corn To Run: It’s well known (it isn’t) that Bruice is an avid juice drinker, and what better way to start your day then with sweet corn, ground cinnamon and soy milk, to have your skin glowing and your mind reinvigorated, like a man in his mid 60’s still capable of selling out world tours!

I don't know what this is, but I'm glad Google had an answer.

I don’t know what this is, but I’m glad that it exists.

3. Next up is the cookbook Tofu Fighters: Learn to Thai, with Dave Grohl and co. revealing a surprising insight into vegetarian Thai cooking. Including favourite recipes such as Thai Like Peas and I’ll Sticky Rice, it’s sure to be a bestseller.

Grohl approves

I hope that’s a veggie burger.

4. Another is The Cure(d Meat): perfect for your next charcuterie party, plus what is more gothic than lending your name to the salami game?

No, no, I couldn't possibly eat enough slice of  that fine prosciutto

No, no, I couldn’t possibly eat another slice of that fine smoked prosciutto

5. Remember that friend that always asked for the pickle out of your burger? Well this one is for him/her. The Pickleback comes with extra pickles, and then some more for good measure. You want cheese, tom sauce and some onions, right? Wrong. You want pickles, and lots of them. Much like Chad Kroeger‘s music, you just can’t get that taste out of your mouth and you feel slightly sick. You wont throw up, but you’ll feel like it for the rest of the day.

I really do love the internet.

I really do love the internet.

6. Finally, what’s a meal without dessert? We got that covered too. Introducing the Wu-Tang Flan, (obviously) only available at Toastface Grillah (that one is actually real!), comes in two sizes, the individual serving and the 9+ serving. You may go off on your own every now and then, but you’ll always come back to the Big W. What’s dessert without your crew?

Our editor created this. She is a genius. She definitely didn't write this caption herself.

Our editor created this. She is a genius. She definitely didn’t write this caption herself.